This past week has been all about preparation for marriage, which is a great topic and I love talking about it because it SURPRISE  I'm not married so I love talking about it. One of my roommates is engaged and the other is planning on getting engaged very soon so marriage is a very hot topic in my apartment! It was very interesting especially today when we were talking about the steps to marriage and time and talking and such because being not married or in a relationship my self I like to learn all of these things before I make the mistake of not following these guidelines.

Something that was brought up was time, how long to date someone and the research on this. Now just looking at it from the worlds standards research has shown that couples who are dating for at least a year have the best chance of staying married. Which is a very reasonable time even looking at it from a religious stand point. However this opinion was brought up and it happens to be mine as well. That the Lord puts people in our path for a reason and sometimes when you know, you know. Now I am not saying that you should PLAN on meeting someone date for a month get engaged and then be married 2 months later, and I'm also not saying that, that wont happen. I believe that when you are with someone and things are going well and you pray about it and receive and answer from God then why not? But in my personal opinion that probably wont happen and you should plan on dating someone longer, dont expect to want and have it work out to get married after a month.

That is just from my religious stand point but I heard a quote one time and I dont remember who it was by or were it was from but it said

"When you know what the rest of your life is going to be, you want to start it as soon as possible"

I think that is so true, dont be afraid to get married soon because you think people will think its too soon. But also dont be afraid to date someone longer because you dont feel like you are ready. Do the best thing for you but keep in mind to not rush things you want to be as sure as you can because you will be with this person for eternity.

Having an opinion

I completely forgot to make my post last Thursday! So Sorry you get it today and another Thursday yeah! I learned something I will never forget last week. We were talking about if cultures are more valid that others. So of course my automatic response was "of course not every culture is equal!" being not only American but also being LDS I have been taught my whole life not to judge and in this country we are a giant melting pot anyway!

However a point was brought up that I had never thought about before. What does the word validation really mean? One definition from the dictionary is "producing desired results". From an Lds cultural stand point our culture is families, getting married and having a loving marriage and birthing and rearing children in the gospel to become sound adults who make an impact on society, and try to do our best to become like that Savior. But of course we are all human and make mistakes so it doesnt always turn out that way. So if I use that mark as "the desired mark" for society are there cultures that more succeed at reaching this mark? ABSOLUTLEY!

Now the LDS culture isn't the only one that tries to meet this mark of a good society others do as well. But it got me thinking that it is all in the eye of the beholder on which culture is more valid than others. Someone else might look at a culture and think it is more valid because it reaches more of there expectation of what a culture should be. And it takes a whole new spin on things that I actually felt that I COULD have an opinion on this subject.

I feel that in this day and age when tolerance for everything is so high its hard to have an opinion on anything! Not a supporter of gay marriage? Your homophobic. Against abortion? You're infringing on peoples rights to choose. I mean it seems like the tables have turned when it comes to a lot of things. That if you are against something that you are a bad person. I know I'm not a bad person and I don't hate the people that support these things I just dont agree with their opinion and thats okay. I dont criticize you for what you believe so show me the same respect. It was just refreshing to pull back and say "yeah you know what in my opinion my culture is more valid that other cultures and heres why and these are the facts".

Family Boundries and Relationships

Now when I say "boundaries" I don't mean how much your mother-in-law or sibling should be snooping in your business. I mean the boundaries in our subsystems within our own families. In each family there is a subsystem (husband and wife, brother sister ect) and with that relationship there are open boundaries, closed boundaries, and the kind of boundary where you don't know where the boundary is haha. Its just like when a husband and wife pull away from each other there is a rigid boundary, there isn't much communication. The one that we all strive for is an open boundary, people know where the line is but there is still nice information flowing between you. This got me thinking about my own family and our relationships with each other. Fore the most part I think my family is pretty healthy. My older brother just left on a mission yesterday, and I can already tell that it is having a big impact on my mom, she is much more sweet talking and involved with what I say. I dont know if it just because its so soon but I know she is going to have a tough time with him gone. I hope however that she clings to my father and not her children because that might it turn drive him away.

It was extremely interesting learn about the "triangle" that when two people move closer together the third person pulls away or opposite to that one person may pull away bringing the two other people close together. The trick is, is to keep an open relationship by communication and keeping everyone close. There was a quote from class today that I loved...


"Having a man and woman in an equal relationship is not natural-its DIVINE"

I loved that because its true, its not in our nature to be in an equal relationship with the opposite sex (just look at the animal kingdom!) however it is a Godly thing. And isnt that what most Godly things do? They make us go against our natural man. I thought it was a very good insight!

New Day

It's funny to think that I will be having a blog because of a class because I have always wanted one! It should be a very interesting class and I am very excited for it! Already even though I joined late the first class was very inspiring. I have always wanted about 5 kids and it really bothered me when we were talking about the videos and how the one guy said that it was selfish to have 5 or more kids because we were stealing resources from the world. We are commanded to have kids and that is what I'm going to do, I know thats what I was born to be! I was born to be a mother and that's all I want to do! I want to get an education and then start cranking out them babies! I wish the people of the world saw it that way as well... More and more often its looked down upon to be a stay at home mother when honestly I think it is one of the most hard rewarding jobs! Oh well, even if the world doesn't see it that way at least I do! I grew up in a very good household although I have 5 siblings I only lived with two but although we had our flaws we love each other and I cant wait to start my own!